Sadistic Authors
by shadow08
Summary: what happens when u mix two sadistic authors who are cousins Yoh and HAO AsakuraTao Ren Usui HorokeuLyserg Diethyl and the rest of the Sk cast CHAOS! Let the torture- I mean FUN begin! r
1. Default Chapter

**Sadistic Authors**

**Prologue: How The Chaos Began**

Tsumiko: Ne, what do you think of a Harry Potter fic... with Mary-sue?

Shadow08: Great idea!

Yoh: Isn't this a "Shaman King" fanfiction?

Ren: Just ignore them…

Tsumiko: Hehehehe...

Tsumiko: A new girl... the key to either the rise of Voldemort or his destruction!

Shadow08: Cute...

Tsumiko: Hehehehhehehehehehe...

Tsumiko: She's a child of taboo...

Shadow08: Hmm... nice...

Shadow08: What powers does she have, actually?

Tsumiko: hmmm... she's telepathic... empathic... telekinetic... psychic... the like…

Shadow08: oh okay... and she always seems to be getting hurt and stuff... ne?

Tsumiko: hmmm... not really

Tsumiko: physically, no. Mentally, yes.

Tsumiko: she's a child of taboo with a deep, dark past.

Tsumiko: a ghost of someone whose supposed to be dead.

Shadow08: yeah that works...

Tsumiko: ficcies are usually funny with Mary-sue.

Shadow08: yeah! 'coz now I get to mess with their minds!

Tsumiko: Hahahaha!

Tsumiko: me too! It's fun to torture the characters!

Horokeu: Guess we have to pick an early grave sight…

Tsumiko: Wait, are you like me?

Shadow08: Yes!

Tsumiko: sadistic to the characters?

Shadow08: Sorta...

Shadow08: LOL

Tsumiko: Hehehe...

Tsumiko: are you masochistic or sadistic?

Shadow08: We're both of both!

Tsumiko: Hehehehe

Shadow08: oh what do you think of Yuri pairings?

Tsumiko: Yuck! Gross!

Tsumiko: Yuri!

Yoh: Yuri?

Hao: It means a girl-to-girl relationship, otouto.

Shadow08: Yup...

Shadow08: Eeew ne?

Shadow08: LOL, anyway... get this...

Tsumiko: what?

Shadow08: the reason I know about that is coz, I used to have this friend... she's

REEEEEAAAALLLYYY into those kinda stuff... Yuri, yaoi, hetaro... and she sent me that fic...

Lyserg: We're lost here, you know…

Ren: It's better this way, …at least they don't realize we're here so they won't torture us…

Horo: You have a point.

Tsumiko: Gross...

Tsumiko: yaoi its okay...

Tsumiko: hetaro's okay...

Tsumiko: Yuri, nothing hell or oblivion can do can compare to...

Shadow08: she also draws that kinda stuff... and honestly... it's disturbing! 'Coz she's like already a manga creator. She's GOOOD! And I can't stand her drawings of incest!

Tsumiko: GROSS!

Lyserg, Ren and Horo: -Looks at Yoh and Hao suspiciously-

Tsumiko: Don't even think about it, you three. Though I know a couple of fanfictions that these two twins are the couple, I will severely punish you three… -takes out scythe menacingly-

Shadow08: -Ignores them- Yup! But she's not my classmate anymore... she moved ... but still EEEEWWW!

Tsumiko: hai...

Tsumiko: incest...

Tsumiko: though disgusting… wait, scratch that, disturbing…it happens regularly...

Hao, Ren, Lyserg and Horo: WHAT THE HELL?

Yoh: …Umm… did I hear you correctly?

Tsumiko: Yes.

Shadow08: WHAT?

Tsumiko: hai.

Tsumiko: Japan, America, Philippines, Jamaica, China, Europe, and Australia...

Tsumiko: you name it...

Tsumiko: haven't you noticed in the animes?

Tsumiko: there's always an implication of incest

Shadow08: eeew... think I'm gonna slip into a coma...

Tsumiko: hai...

Shadow08: eeew... I think I need alcohol...

Tsumiko: hmmm... don't get me started on the implications of manga...

Tsumiko: -shudders-

Tsumiko: CREEEEEEEEPY!

Shadow08: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -covers ears- lalalalala I can't hear you!

Tsumiko: Why? Why? Why are you torturing me?

Tsumiko: Dear manga artists I dutifully respect and admire, why?

Shadow08: I wanna die now!

Shadow08: mental pictures!

Shadow08: AHHHHH!

Shadow08: GET OUT OF MY BRAAAIINNN!

Imaginary Quatre Winner of Gundam Wing goes on stage and plays a sad tune on his violin-

Shadow08: LOL

Dramatic Angst Music Plays-

Tsumiko: Why must it end like this? Why? Lamma sabacthani? Doushite?

Shadow08: -sighs- thank god for angsty music!

Tsumiko: hey, i could be a drama author...

Horo: NO!

Shadow08: yup!

Tsumiko: Hehehe...

Shadow08: but drama isn't fun! it's drama!

Tsumiko: the raging storm covers the sky in darkness... as tears descend from crystalline

eyes as the fan cried: "Why have you forsaken me?"

Tsumiko: "Why incest? Not them! Please! NOOOO!"

Tsumiko: And in retrospect, lightning hits her and she falls dead on the sea... in anguish

Shadow08: LOL... how DRAMATIC! think I'm gonna be sick! -sees mental images once

More- NOOOO! -covers eyes-

All but Yoh: -Looks at her weirdly- …she needs mental help…

Shadow08: -faints-

Quatre is yanked off the stage-

Tsumiko: ha?

Tsumiko: I'm only playing around here... its not as dramatic yet...

Shadow08: don't know... LOL...

Ren: That was a joke?

Lyserg: Shut up. They might use us for their amusement… if they finally notice us, that is.

Shadow08: We already did, idiots.

Tsumiko: We're just chatting for a while…

Tsumiko: I'm killing you softly because of this, huh?

Shadow08: yup!

Shadow08: I'm venting out my crazy side on you right now... I need to see my therapist later LOL...

Tsumiko: -shudders- hmmm... I think I figured out why the shaman king fans adore the pairing of Hao and Yoh...

Yoh: Ha?

Hao: Don't say that!

Ren: -eyes them weirdly-

Horo: -gives the twins a weird look-

Lyserg: -Shakes his head- …incest…

Tsumiko: -Babbling- God, they're twins!

Shadow08: oh fuck! mental images flashing again!

Tsumiko: plus, why do I always see that they keep on saying that YOH'S submissive,

while HAO'S dominant?

All but Shadow08 and Tsumiko and Yoh: WHAT THE FUCK?

Tsumiko: Jeez,... just cuz Hao's older... that's sick...

Shadow08: eeew...

Tsumiko: at least YOU don't have any friends obsessed with that pairing...

Tsumiko: God, I'm starting to hate her...

Shadow08: well.. you have a point...

Lyserg: Stop being infected by Hao! Don't use God's name in vain, you damned woman!

Shadow08: LOL...

Tsumiko: Like hell I care! You tried to kill Yoh! Not to mention, you used him as hostage to get to Hao, you sick bastard!

Tsumiko: broccoli tops actually tried to kill Yoh...

Shadow08: Hehehehe...

Lyserg: don't call me broccoli tops, woman!

Tsumiko: I'm gonna kill him someday...

Shadow08: But you are broccoli tops!

Tsumiko: Hehehe... he has green hair...

Tsumiko: and Ren's hair's like a pyramid in one picture!

Shadow08: LOL...

Ren: Is not!

Shadow08: is too!

Yoh: Calm down, ...they're just sugar-high…

Tsumiko: i heard that...

Tsumiko: no, actually, i read that…

Shadow08: me too! -GLARES-

Yoh: Sorry… didn't mean to offend…

Shadow08: LOL... that's fine... sorry Yoh...

Hao: -Glares at the authors and at his brother-You're too kind…

Tsumiko: at least he's kinder than the rest of the SK cast...

Shadow08: -glares back- so? GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Tsumiko: -GLARES HARD AT HAO- Yeah! Just cuz you look like him doesn't mean

we'll let you off that easily! Prepare to suffer on the next fic, onna-otoko!

Shadow08: mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Hao: if you call me a girly-looking boy, you're calling Yoh that, too you know.

Tsumiko: So? Yoh doesn't mind...

Shadow08: and Yoh has the decency to tie his hair...

Shadow08: -sings- HAO IS A GIRLY GUY! HAO IS A GIRLY GUY!

Tsumiko: you know, Yoh got kidnapped when he was 8...

Ren: -stares at Yoh-

Horo: Where did that come from?

Lyserg: I highly doubt that girl's the author of Unlike Yesterday and Twilight: The Orb Of The Blue Orb… and that her cousin is the author of Different From The Rest in Harry Potter…

Yoh: Why not?

Ren: Look at them, you dolt.

Hao: -shakes head- they're so serious in those ficclets… look at them now.

Yoh: They're in a chat room and they haven't seen each other for a while. Why wouldn't they be happy?

Shadow08: Yoh's right! So get off his case, jackasses! Leave Yoh alone! -Goes back to Tsumiko- Really?

All but Yoh and the authors: Oo.

Tsumiko: yup.

Tsumiko: and they tried to bribe the Asakura family into giving them money and fortune.. yadda, yadda, yadda...

Shadow08: got an idea...

Tsumiko: what?

Shadow08: huh?

Shadow08: oh that... kidnap! Yoh for money... how fun!

Hao: Nice knowing you, little brother.

Tsumiko: oh! and Yoh didn't tie his hair then and it was almost the same length as Hao!

Shadow08: heh... funny image...

Tsumiko: only problem: …I can't say it. I don't want to say it.

Shadow08: Why?

Tsumiko: I'm gonna hurt Yoh… don't want that to happen, pluz, if that does happen, I'm gonna have an early grave 'cuz Umi's gonna slaughter me… besides, Yoh's too damned nice… the more he is nice… the more he gets hurt… STOP BEING TOO NICE! IT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY!

Yoh: ………………

Shadow08: LOL... Yoh is too nice.. really...

Hao: nice enough to get him killed... they threatened to kill him and they abused him, for god's sake! One was even a hentai!

Lyserg: Stop doing that!

Shadow08: eeew! -shudders-

Hao: god! god! god! god! god! I'm using god's name in vain! god! happy now, broccoli tops?

Tsumiko: they're funny... Hao-chan! Diethyl-chan!

Shadow08: yup.. they are...

Tsumiko: why not join the fight? Broccoli tops!

Tsumiko: Onna-otoko!

Tsumiko: Short pants!

Shadow08: LOL... this is so amusing...

Tsumiko: Snow bunny!

Tsumiko: hey, Yoh's the only one i haven't insulted...

Horo: You didn't insult the girls…

Tsumiko: So? If you're thinking I didn't insult them 'cuz I'm also a girl, you're dead wrong, jackass.

Shadow08: girls are smarter than boys!

Everyone but Yoh: HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

Shadow08: LOL...

Shadow08: Hehehe...

Horokeu: No fair! I'm not a snow bunny!

Shadow08: yes you are!

Tsumiko: yes you are, blue haired, moronic, idiotic, lame-brained snowy bunny!

Shadow08: LOL.. this is fun! and what's more, they have no idea who i am! or have you told them?

Tsumiko: nope

Tsumiko: they don't know me personally...

Tsumiko: only Yoh does!

Lyserg: What's her real name?

Tsumiko: Yoh, by all means, tell them.

Yoh: She means I can't say it…

Shadow08: cool!

Shadow08: now for some fun... HEY HAO!

Hao: What?

Shadow08: ever heard of something called a ponytail?

Hao: Shut the hell up!

Shadow08: I can't! That's why hell threw me out!

Tsumiko: Hahahaha!

Shadow08: Hehehe... really...

Hao: annoying fanfiction writers...

Shadow08: hey! i am not annoying! okay so maybe i am but that's beside the point!

Ren: Watch out, i think i now where our sadistic author inherited her sadistic ways...

Shadow08: Hehehehe... -feigns innocence- who are you referring to?

Tsumiko: hey! I'm not sadistic!

Tsumiko: I'm masochistic and sadistic!

Tsumiko: Get it through your thick head, jackass!

Shadow08: huh?

Tsumiko: I'm talking to Ren..

Tsumiko: do you think I'm only sadistic?

Shadow08: oh... nope! WE"RE BOTH OF BOTH! did that even make sense?

Tsumiko: nope.

Tsumiko: kinda...

Shadow08: LOL...

Everyone but Yoh again: Stop ignoring us! It's getting annoying!

Tsumiko: I like adding them to the conversation

Tsumiko: i have someone to amuse me and to torture

Shadow08: -grins- who are they?

Tsumiko: the anime/manga characters...

Tsumiko: but I do not torture Yoh!

Tsumiko: he's too kind!

Tsumiko: stop abusing him, you darn ink characters!

Shadow08: yup!

Shadow08: hey i forgot to tell you something, Hao…

Hao: what?

Shadow08: if you're interested, i know a reeeeaaaallly good...

Shadow08: BARBER!

Hao: Hey! I am not gonna cut my hair!

Ren: you spend three hours in the bathroom to get it right...

Shadow08: -brandishes scissors- your not! but I am!

Lyserg: I'll help you... -takes out scissors- get him!

Everyone but Yoh: charge!

Hao: -runs away-

Everyone but Yoh: -chases him-

Shadow08: Hehehehe... ATTTACK! -runs after him-

Tsumiko: Yoh, would you kindly help us?

Yoh: How?

Shadow08: yes please?

Shadow08: grab a scissor!

Shadow08: and chase!

Tsumiko: or better yet, use your mental link with Hao and annoy him...

Shadow08: oh yeah!

Tsumiko: or I'll have to call Anna and then I'll have to call funeral service

Yoh: Alright

Shadow08: Hehehe... funny!

Tsumiko: Lets just call funeral service instead... Hao'll rather die than have a hair cut

Shadow08: oh yeah... but it's fun torturing him!

Tsumiko: I'll call funeral service! keep chasing him until he dies!

Shadow08: sure!

Woman: Hey there! Welcome to Funeral Service! May I take your order?

Shadow08: LOL.

Tsumiko: Yeah, I'd like a grave sight, some flowers, a coffin, and a gravestone saying "Asakura Hao" Domo arigatou gozaimasu!

Tsumiko: wait,... if he dies... Yoh dies...

Shadow08: run Hao RUUUNNN! -skids to a stop- WHAAAT?

Shadow08: and?

Tsumiko: Yoh was ill when he was separated from Hao...

Tsumiko: Yoh was always a sickly child... and when he was sick... Hao was getting sick too...

Shadow08: oh crap! that means we can't hurt Hao!

Shadow08: can we just torture him then? -hopeful eyes-

Tsumiko: yeah we can... just don't kill him

Shadow08: okay then!

Tsumiko: that's also the reason why they had to erase Hao from Yoh's memories

Shadow08: HAO!

Hao: -runs away-

Shadow08: dammit! get back here you jackass!

Hao: no freaking way, psycho!

Shadow08: -grins- thanks! now get back here before i MAKE you!

Tsumiko: Hao! not nice! -takes out mallet, scissors, knives, and a kimono- get back

here!

Horo: What's with the kimono?

Tsumiko: I'm gonna force him to cross-dress then take pictures for blackmail

Shadow08: -takes out chainsaw, wand, broom, hammer, sledge hammer, and camera all from one jean pocket-

All others except Yoh and Tsumiko: O.O Oi...

Shadow08: and I'm gonna help!

Tsumiko: oops... i forgot the camera...

Shadow08: no worries! i got it!

Tsumiko: Yay!

Hao: freaking authors!

Tsumiko: Everybody! Get him!

Shadow08: ATTAAAAACK!

Tsumiko: jeez... as much as i respect and admire Yoh with all my heart, i wanna torture him... but i can't! he's too goddamned nice!

Yoh: ……………?

Hao: If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's in love with you, otouto.

Tsumiko: -brandishes a very menacingly-looking scythe- Keep talking, dead man.

Shadow08: She admires and respects Yoh, she doesn't love him. And if you say that again, she's gonna cut your head off.

Tsumiko: -Ignores what's been said before- But he looks like Hao so...

Shadow08: no!

Shadow08: FOCUS!

Tsumiko: Get him!

Shadow08: HAO, HAO, HAO!

Shadow08: ANSWER ME DAMMIT!

Tsumiko: Yup! what do you say? what color of the kimono, my dear cuz?

Hao: Shut up and leave me alone! Yoh!

Shadow08: pink! I hate pink and...

Yoh: Sorry, onii-chan... can't help you...

Shadow08: that'll make him revolting!

Tsumiko: yah!

Shadow08: Hehehehe...

Tsumiko: but its nice... a pink bow for the hair, maybe?

Tsumiko: with sakura petals?

Shadow08: or maybe pink hair clips...

Tsumiko: and pink hair clips...

Shadow08: or pink scrunchies... for braids...

Tsumiko: why not dress him up completely?

Shadow08: hell yeah!

Tsumiko: I'll get the Japanese make-up!

Tsumiko: Anna! Jun! Tamao! Hirika! Jeanne! Yuyami! A little help here!

Shadow08: -jumps around and dances like a child not caring if the anime/manga characters are staring weirdly at her-

All characters but Yoh: get a life

Girls: -brings out all girly stuff-

Hao: Fuck no!

Shadow08: Fuck yes!

Shadow08: Hehehe!

Tsumiko: Get him!

Shadow08: -jumps and holds Hao's hands behind back- I'm super girl!

Tsumiko: Hahahaha!

Tsumiko: -drags him to other room with the rest of the girls-

Boys: -stares at them, weirdly and terrified-

Shadow08: yes! -sings- girls rule! uh huh!

Boys: -stares at her like she's nuts-

Ren: any chance they're gonna do that to us?

Shadow08: -sticks out tongue at boys-

Horo: -nod-

Shadow08: maybe...

Lyserg: Yoh?

Tsumiko: We can't hurt Yoh! please, shadow?

other guys: no fair...

Shadow08: NOOO! no hurting Yoh! or Amidamaru for that matter...

Shadow08: but to compensate... we can do Ren next... Hehehe

Ren: Fuck!

Jun: Don't use such words, Lenny!

Shadow08: the wall!

Ren: my name's Ren!

Shadow08: hey Jun!

Jun: hai?

Shadow08: what do you think is the best color for Lenny boy over here?

Tsumiko: purple?

Jun: perfect...

Ren: Sis!

Shadow08: Yay!

Shadow08: i get to play dress up with them! -grins like an imp-

Girls: -comes out dragging a new girl wearing a pink sakura kimono with braids, pink ribbons, clips, with brown hair and hazel eyes?-

Horo: who's she?

Shadow08: HAO-LINA!

Yoh: -blinks- onii-chan?

Ren and Lyserg: HAO!

Shadow08: NOOO! her name's Hao-Lina!

Tsumiko: Hahahaha!

Hao: I'm gonna kill them...

Tsumiko: you can't, asshole.

Shadow08: sorry you can't!

Tsumiko: we're the authors.

Shadow08: yup! hey!

Tsumiko: hey what?

Shadow08: i have an idea!

Tsumiko: what?

Ren/Horo/Lyserg: -crosses fingers- no more cross-dressing...

Shadow08: how bout we make a fic!

Tsumiko: sure!

Everybody but Yoh: oh dear god no

Yoh: it can't be that bad... right?

Shadow08: exactly like this -gestures to the ongoing conversation- and we torture

everyone! except the girls

Tsumiko: of course. i wouldn't do anything to Yoh on purpose... okay, maybe if I'm loosing my mind...

Tsumiko: good idea!

Shadow08: Hehehehe... now who's gonna publish it?

Tsumiko: you

Tsumiko: i have too many published already...

Shadow08: okay sure. I'll just copy and paste this for the first chapter and then I'll post it. after that we chat again do the same thing and make chappie 2! am i making sense?

Tsumiko: yup! it was funny!

Tsumiko: genre: humor!

Tsumiko: title: sadistic authors!

Shadow08: Oh yeah!

Tsumiko: I'll help with the typing! send me a copy!

Shadow08: sure! I'll have to edit it first so maybe tomorrow? we still have to finish it anyhow.

Tsumiko: yup!

Tsumiko: I'll delete the not-needed parts and fix the missing parts!

Shadow08: okay enough talk! we have another victim--- err i mean customer.. REN TAO!

Ren: no fucking way...

Jun: Ren...

Shadow08: Hehehe..

Shadow08: OKAY... so Tsumi after you edit it... send me a copy too and then I'll publish it... ne?

Tsumiko: Okay! -holding purple Chinese dress, purple clips, make-up, hair accessories, jewelry and a camera-

Tsumiko: bring the violence things will ya, cuz?

Shadow08: course!

Ren: I'm in hell...

Tsumiko: well, we're in heaven cuz hell spat us back out cuz we're too devilish

Shadow08: yup! so true!

Tsumiko: hey, Yoh, have you met an author that her real name's Marie Louise Jayne?

Yoh: nope.

Tsumiko: good. ever meet her, call me. She's a hentai friend of mine…

Shadow08: actually this would best describe us: "HEAVEN DOESN'T WANT US AND HELL'S AFRAID WE'RE GONNA TAKE OVER!"

Tsumiko: Good title

Shadow08: better?

Tsumiko: hai!

Tsumiko: we're nuts and sugar-high and Yoh, stay away from us.

Tsumiko: i DO NOT want you to suffer

Shadow08: yup you'll get hurt... and we really don't want that… or else Tsumi's gonna go berserk and kill everyone who hurt you.

All but the authors and Yoh: Oo.

Yoh: if you say so...

Shadow08: Hehehe...

Shadow08: REN!

Guys: run for your lives!

Shadow08: NOPE! no running!

Ren: -takes out Kwan-dao-

Shadow08: LIKE I CARE?

Tsumiko: Ren, use that and you will be sent to oblivion.

Tsumiko: we're not JUST authors you know...

Shadow08: we're some things...?

Tsumiko: psychics, devilish beings from hell, fallen deities... whatever.

Shadow08: uhm... we're damned beings rejected from both heaven and hell...

Shadow08: okay...

Horo: and i thought Yoh having a dark side was Creeeeeeeeeeepy...

Hao: i thought i was his dark side?

Tsumiko: nope.

Tsumiko: Yoh's much more dangerous than you think...

Shadow08: yup! true! just like us.. ne?

Tsumiko: he may look weak, but he's the destined king of shamans! Right, Anna-kun?

Anna: Of course.

Shadow08: whoa! cool! hang on!

Shadow08: wait...

Tsumiko: wha?

Tsumiko: you were saying, cuz?

Shadow08: where's Ren?

Tsumiko: damn... Ren, get back here!

Ren: -From afar- over my dead body!

Tsumiko: Fine. -Takes out scythe-

Shadow08: -drags the purple-clad shaman into the room-

Tsumiko: hey, you found him!

Tsumiko: and i was gonna cut his head off for almost killing Yoh too... me and my miserable life...

Shadow08: yup! here he goes! -throws him into the room-

Tsumiko: why not down the well?

Tsumiko: so he won't escape?

Shadow08: we still need pics remember?

Tsumiko: i got the pics of Hao... video recording too when i was dressing him up...

Hao: bitch...

Tsumiko: let's dress Ren up now!

Ren: Kami, save me.

Tsumiko: shouldn't you say, "eloi, eloi, lamma sabacthani?"

Tsumiko: cuz?

Horo: what does that mean?

Tsumiko: it's in the bible... shit! That's racist!

Tsumiko: cuz? You alive?

Tsumiko: did you guys do anything?

**End Of Prologue**

Horo: Hold on.

Tsumiko: What? I need to find my cuz.

Horo: If you're not a girl, then what are you?

Tsumiko: Huh? Whoever said I wasn't a girl?

Lyserg, Hao and Ren: -Whistling innocently. Too innocently.-

Tsumiko: I'm an androgyny.

Horo: A what?

Tsumiko: I'm not sure about Shadow, but I am an androgyny.

Horo: What does it mean?

Yoh: …It means…

Tsumiko: MBNYBO.

Horo: Huh?

Yoh: She means, My Business, Not Yours, Back Off.

Lyserg: How do you know?

Yoh: -Shrugs-

**Chapter Preview: Trouble With Sadists**

/Shadow08: R/R/


	2. The trouble with Sadists

_**Chapter 1: The Trouble With Sadists**_

Horo: -Twirls around does summersaults, and other Olympic things-... WHAT"S HAPPENING?

Shadow: -pops outta nowhere-

Shadow: i want REVENGE!

Shadow: I'm wet! Dammit!

Lyserg: -screams- the demons are back!

Shadow: uhmm... she never went missing... -points to Tsumi-

Hao: Tsumiko's been doing her own revenge...

Shadow: now it's time for MINE! -Brings out wand- DANCE LITTLE IDIOTS DANCE! MUHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tsumiko: -sits in a corner, stabbing something with nails, and daggers- Die!

Tsumiko: Oh… Hi, cuz...

Shadow: hello there Tsumi, how've you been?

Tsumiko: fine...

Tsumiko: just doing something...

Shadow: what?

HORO: -Keeps on summer sault-ing-...

Hao: Is that a voodoo doll of Horo?

Shadow: should you keep him like that?

Tsumiko: yup!

Shadow: ok then! -Flicks wand and Hao, Ren and Lyserg start dancing around like morons-

Ren: Get her away from us!

Shadow: who? Me?

Ren:(sarcastic) nope, get Tsumiko away from us...

Shadow: can't and won't.

Lyserg: She's tormenting us!

Shadow: so? What's your point?

Horo: -hits his head on the ceiling-

Shadow: Hehehe... funny...

Tsumiko: mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Yoh: What's going on?

Tsumiko: Ooops...

Shadow: -sets fire to Lyserg and Hao's pants- that'll teach you not to throw me down wells...

Tsumiko: hi Yoh...

Tsumiko: -Hides doll-

Horo: ...help...

Shadow: hello Yoh, I'm back!

Yoh: Hi!

Shadow: You're damn brother hit me over the head with a chair and threw me down a well. With the help of broccoli tops, Lenny and the floating acrobatic snow bunny over there...

Tsumiko: THEY WHAT?

All but Yoh and the authors: Uh...

Shadow: -goes to the bathroom muttering darkly-

Shadow: - comes back with new DRY clothes- where's Hao? HAO!

Yoh: Tsu-chan, is that a cursed doll you're hiding?

Hao: Get away!

Shadow: -chases Hao-

Tsumiko : NOPE!

Tsumiko: I swear it isn't!

Shadow: Tsumi, i need to borrow your Hao doll... left mine somewhere...

Tsumiko : Kay... oops...

Shadow: what?

Horo: help...

Shadow: why?

Tsumiko : wait a sec... -hands over Hao voodoo doll-

Shadow: -takes doll- and makes it dance in the air with wand-

Hao: -floats around in the air dancing and hitting stuff- PUT ME DOWN!

Tsumiko : I promise I won't do it anymore! Kay, Yoh-kun?

Tsumiko : -crosses fingers-

Shadow: huh? -still playing with doll

Yoh: you're crossing your fingers behind your back...

Tsumiko : Damn...

Shadow: no she's not!

Tsumiko : Shadow, a little help...

Shadow: what do i do?

Kitty: Yes she is!

Shadow: who the HELL are YOU?

Yoh: Tsu-chan's alter egos?

Kitty: YUP!

Tsumiko : Die!

Shadow: crap! not again! Tsumi, want me to kill her?

Tsumiko : sure...

Yoh: -stares at her-

Tsumiko : Fine. Don't.

Shadow: Aww.. why?

Kitty: Let it be known... our mistress' only flaw...

Shadow: is Yoh?

Kitty: She can't say no to Yoh Asakura

Tsumiko : Shadow, are you lost?

Shadow: kinda am...

Tsumiko : sorry...

Tsumiko : -Looks at Yoh-

Tsumiko : Damn! Those eyes! Ahh!

Tsumiko : -Vanishes in a trail of smoke-

Hao: Shadow, what's wrong with her?

Shadow: she's fine. just needed some time to herself. now i wanna kick some ass. that well was stinky, dirty and i had to share it with samara! she's major-ly cranky... and ugly too...

Shadow: wait...- vanishes as well-

Shadow: -pops back- got her!

Tsumiko : -Gets back holding 5 huge boxes and dumps them on the ground to reveal thousands of voodoo dolls-

Shadow: OOOOH! I WANT SOME!

Tsumiko : Get it as fast as you can...

Ren: Yoh, do something...

Shadow: -GRABS A WHOLE BOX-

Horo: -Still on the ceiling- Help me...

Lyserg: They're demonesses i tell you!

Shadow: muhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! no one can stop my revenge now!

Yoh: Tsu-chan...

Tsumiko : ARGGHHHH!

Tsumiko : Fine!

Tsumiko : -Burns dolls-

Shadow: NOOOOOO! Yoh?

Tsumiko : -Cries- ...Why? Why? Why can't I stand those damned eyes! If you just didn't suffer as much in your past and if you weren't so friggin' kind, I could have endured you! But no! Why must I suffer this?

Shadow: -hides her box of voodoo dolls-

Shadow: Yoh...

Yoh: Umm... what did i do?

Shadow: do me a favor will you?

Horo: Dude, ...you made her cry...

Shadow: -screams at Horo who is still on the ceiling- HE WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!

Horo: -gapes- okaaay...

Yoh: what?

Shadow: hide your eyes behind contacts. -hands him container-

Hao: Why?

Tsumiko : -Still crying- I can't stand to say no to his eyes!

Shadow: - brings out sword- NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Tsumiko : He's too damned kind!

Ren: Get off it...

Shadow: true, now go to the room and get Jun, Tsumi... kay?

Tsumiko : Kay!

Tsumiko : Cross-dressing time!

Shadow: yuppers!

Yoh: Sorry 'bout that... didn't mean to offend you...

Tsumiko : It's nothing!

Tsumiko : It's Horo's fault in the beginning!

Tsumiko : Never yours!

Shadow: go! go, i need to extract my revenge on these 3

Tsumiko : -vanishes into the bathroom-

Shadow: -turns to Hao, Horo and Lyserg- now for some fun... brings out dagger...

Tsumiko : -drags Yoh with her- ...Sorry... can't let Yoh be alone with these idiots, points at

Ren, Lyserg, Hao, and Horo-

Tsumiko : What about Ren?

Shadow: take Ren! he's not finished with the uh--- treatment...

Ren: What treatment?

Shadow: i need to make these three dumbasses see what pain is...

All but the authors, Ren and Yoh: OO

Shadow: happy you dropped me in a well?

Horo: Yes.

Hao: IDIOT!

Shadow: -narrows eyes- prepare to experience hell! -grins evilly-

Horo: I'm innocent!

Shadow: -brings out sword-

Ren: It was your idea, aho

Shadow:-turns to the purple clad shaman- what're you doing here?

Shadow: do you wanna take part in the torture?

Tsumiko : Oops... sorry 'bout that

Shadow: I was all wet and cold and it's ALL YOU'RE DAMN FAULT!

Shadow: TSUMI!

Ren: Nope. Tsuki, hurry up

Tsumiko : Why are you calling me "Tsuki"?

Shadow: i have no idea...

Yoh: Her penname's Silent Darkness Tsumiko...

Shadow: so?

Ren: Well, her livejournal name is Moon Essence Tsukiyo...

Hao: What does Moonlight and Child of Sin have together?

Shadow: still. SO?

Lyserg: Both are symbols of the darkness!

Hao: Moonlight is?

Shadow: OK... I'M LOST...

Tsumiko : Shadow, just kill them all except for Yoh...

Tsumiko : need help?

Shadow: nah I'm fine. but wait...

Tsumiko : Yoh-kun, Anna's calling you.

Yoh: -Vanishes-

Tsumiko : What?

Tsumiko : -Brings out more voodoo dolls- Just made them a while ago...

Tsumiko : I hate having to lie to Yoh...

Shadow: we won't have any1 to play with... we'll have to settle for torture...

Tsumiko : Guess you're right...

Shadow: you take Lyserg and Ren ne? broccoli tops is weird..

Lyserg: HEY! Just because I'm of faith...

Hao: Whatever.

Shadow: I'll go kill Hao and Horo. Hao's my torture toy.. Hehehe...

Lyserg: Shut it, murderer!

Shadow: I'm NOT A MURDERER...

Hao: Get lost, freak! Author, get the hell away from me...

Tsumiko : Actually, he was referring to Hao...

Shadow: ok then!

Shadow: I'm fine with that... totally fine... fine just fine!

Tsumiko : Shall we?

Shadow: oh we shall!

Tsumiko : -Takes out homicidal stuff...-

Horo: We're dead...

Shadow: no REALLY? i never would've known!

Tsumiko: Hehehe

Hao: Spirit of Fire!

Shadow: - squeezes Hao doll making the real Hao's eyes bulge-I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Shadow: ooh.. moon...-googly eyes-

Shadow: -throws the Hao doll out the window along with Hao himself and stares at the pretty moon-

Hao:- falling down the window- SHIIIIIT!

Tsumiko : Is there a crimson moon?

Tsumiko : I need a symbol for death... -smirks at Horo-

Horo:-sweat drops-

Shadow: dunno... but there's a near orange one...

Shadow: u get that?

Tsumiko : Nope... can ya send it to me?

Lyserg: Hey! We're still alive here!

Hao: Dumbass brat...

Tsumiko : Hmm... kill them?

Tsumiko : torture?

Shadow: -brings out doll from pocket and feeds it to rabid dogs- you were saying?

Horo: SHIT! Fuck it, Diethyl! You're gonna get us killed?

Shadow: no really? (sarcastic)

Tsumiko : Aren't you already in hell?

Hao: shut the fuck up.

Shadow: How'd you get up Hao? Tsumi, did you know that there's an anime called Crimson moon?

Shadow: and Hao?

Tsumiko : -Burns hair of Hao voodoo doll-

Tsumiko : nope

Tsumiko : kinda forgot

Tsumiko : Arai Tsuki by any chance?

Shadow: and i found a pic of a blood red moon for you!

Hao: - runs around putting the fire out of his hair- Sure!

Tsumiko : Thanks!

Shadow: send it to ya later kay?

Tsumiko : Kay!

Shadow: and Hao stop running around like an idiot. Its just hair...

Shadow: it's only burning

Hao: NO IT ISN"T!

Shadow: really? shit! then I'll make it!

Hao: IT"S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM YOH!

Tsumiko : no, really?

Shadow: so? being bald will make you different.

Hao: NO WAY IN HELL!

Tsumiko : This is so amusing... Mwaahahahahahaha!

Shadow: I'm from there remember? besides, who's gonna stop me? yoh doesn't affect me in the same way as Tsumi. - lights up a candle-

Tsumiko : -Juggling voodoos of Lyserg and Horo-

Shadow: how fun! i wanna try!

Tsumiko : How about him?

Shadow: who?

Tsumiko : -throws her voodoo dolls and the two collides on the wall-

Shadow: are they dead yet?

Tsumiko : a six hundred year old samurai

Tsumiko : Nope.

Shadow: AMIDAMARU!

Hao: you like that samurai?

Tsumiko : Shut it, asshole.

Shadow: CRAP! they're not?

Lyserg: you kill us, otakos gonna kill you...

Shadow: -looks askance at Hao- why do you ask?

Tsumiko : -brandishes scythe- let them try...

Shadow: otako?

Tsumiko : fan girls...

Tsumiko : but... they won't kill us 'cuz they don't know us...

Shadow: oh... Pfft! Like i CARE? besides, they can't kill us...

Tsumiko : Yup!

Tsumiko : Besides, I'm too suicidal and homicidal!

Tsumiko : I'll kill them first!

Shadow: we died already... and she has a point... they'd die before they can even get near us.

Kitty: I'll tell Yoh that you lied to him...

Tsumiko : So?

Shadow: Hehehe

Tsumiko : Cuz, do ya have an alter ego i could borrow?

Shadow: sure! which one?

Tsumiko : anyone sadistic enough to torture Kitty here without killing her... just make her

have a mental breakdown...

Kitty: oops...

Tsumiko : Hey! I just realized we don't have a plot!

Horo: Killing us is one...

Shadow: kay... (shouts) GRIFFIN!

Griffin: WHAT shade?

Shadow: your not allowed to call me that shitty bastard. go get your chains and torture stuff and go to my cousin's house.

Shadow: what's her name Tsumi?

Tsumiko : Kitty.

Griffin: killing is it?

Tsumiko : you can't miss her... well, maybe except for Cathy but annihilate her too if ya like

Griffin: alright. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. do you have a padded room. it drowns out the sounds of their screaming

Shadow: Okay… back to us, eh? Where's Yoh?

Tsumiko: One word. Anna.

Hao: Poor Yoh…

Lyserg: I'm wondering why you don't have a fiancée, you murderer.

Hao: Come off it, Jackass.

Horo: Somebody get me down from the ceiling.

Ren: Its better this way. At least your stupidity doesn't affect others from there.

Horo: Shut it, asshole!

Tsumiko: -Writing-

Amidamaru: What are you doing, if I may ask?

Shadow: AMIDAMARU!

Ren, Lyserg, Hao and Horo: You like the samurai? That's a shock…

Tsumiko: Hey, We're not the ones with the obsession with his little brother, obsession for revenge, obsession to rule the world, and the habit of doing something because of stupidity here…

Horo: Get off our case!

Ren: As much as I hate it, I agree with the snow bunny! I'm not obsessed with taking over the world!

Shadow: Look who's talking…

Shadow: Amidamaru, you're a six hundred year old samurai, right?

Amidamaru: Yes.

Shadow: The greatest warrior? Yippee! Thanks a lot, Tsumi! Anyways, wanna get some revenge?

Amidamaru: Revenge upon who?

Shadow: -Vanishes with Amidamaru to somewhere-

Lyserg: -Looks at the remaining author who continues to write while doing more Olympic things to Horo weirdly-

Hao: -Gives the same look-

Ren: what the hell are you writing?

Tsumiko: -Takes out miniature size of Ren's Kwan-dao and positions it at Ren's neck- NOYB

Horo: HUH?

Hao: Let me guess, None Of Your Business

Tsumiko: -Takes out miniature scissors and threateningly places them near the voodoo Hao's hair- YNBOA

Lyserg: I don't get it…

Yoh: -From afar- Yes, Now Back Off Asshole

Ren: It's scary that he knows her very well…

Lyserg: -Nods-

Horo: HELLO! Have I become invisible or something? I'm still stuck in the ceiling if ya haven't noticed!

Tsumiko: -Ignores him but says- …IAAAFOMWLYAIWHTS

Ren: …

Hao: …

Lyserg: I have no idea what she just said…

Horo: Hmm… -Dreamy eyes- I'm Angry At A Friend Of Mine Who Likes You And I Want Her To Suffer?

Ren, Hao, and Lyserg: The odds of that are a trillion to one…

Tsumiko: OMG… he's right…

Ren, Hao and Lyserg: WTF?

Shadow: -Pops outta nowhere with Amidamaru- That was fun!

Amidamaru: Though he may have been evil and greedy… maybe we were too much…

Shadow: Nah… that emperor's the one at fault when you and Mosuke died and it's because of him that you were believed to be an assassin…

Amidamaru: I suppose you're right…

Shadow: Hey, Tsumi! Whaddya doing?

Tsumiko: -Grins-

Ren: I don't like that look…

Hao: I don't even know what it means but I have a bad feeling its something reaaaaaaaaaally bad…

Lyserg: -Nods-

Tsumiko: -Hands over papers while grinning sadistically-

Shadow: -Reads it really fast-

Shadow: -Smirks-

Shadow: -Looks up…- this is gonna be fun…

_**End Of Chapter One**_

Yoh: What were you writing…?

Tsumiko: …

Yoh: Tsu-chan…?

Tsumiko: -Grins- a script for a certain play…

Tsumiko: -Grins even more evilly- For the next chapter…

shadow: now for some fun! r/r!


End file.
